Work and Boss

   Honestly I love what i'm doing now mean interior design but seriously i hate my current company. Really suck and very annoyed.Especially the big boss.Really sucked.

Everytime i do my work ,she never ever appricated what I am doing. Always see the small mistake that i did. Yes, I admit sometimes I make mistake doing the quatation and drawing but why everytime is me? Why everytime that i did and everyone did she point out to me?

What the stupid boss!

I realized everytime i do the drawing for other designer and I never get bad feedback from the other and her.But, when i present it by myself , there always have a big mistake.What the stupid excuses.

Please don't say you are concern about your staff but actually you are in denial and some more your just so racists and never want to admit.Please la..

You are so damn picky and not really encourage other person.Just because I'm nobody here , not even supplier 's daugther, not even your son's friends and not even your partnership please be rasional when do the decision.

If I am really bad just say it but throw your hate to me and if i  am really lousy and shallow , please ask your favaourite one do my work.After that you can see am I stupid or you are?

Please la, you just shallow minded, big BOSS!

Birthday and Friends

My birthday is already past 1 month ago. This year I am 25th already and some people said is half of 50th of year.



I still remember the first gift that I received I guess is from my dad, just a pencil case that he bought for my sister and me. Moreover, I get gold color and she got the silver color. I am so young that time and cannot remember how I am appreciated that gift.


When I am kindergarten, my mother make a cake called “kek batik” and I am not sure either for my birthday or just for some activities. However, I remember my teacher so glad that time and asked for the recipes from my mother. When I am primary school and which standard that I’m , I can’t remember at all, but my mother make a packet of candy and ask me to give to my friends during my birthday.


After that, when I am at Form 3 I get present from my friend like Nazifah, Miera and Yana. Forgive me if I did not mention any name here but I really appreciated.


University time, I get first surprises from my friends called Fenn and Hana. They came at my studio at middle of the night just for celebrate my birthday and by the next year is same; they always make surprises to me.


I know, Fenn always make surprises to me for my birthday and she never ever forget my birthday. Moreover, deep inside I am always feel guilty to her because I never do the same thing like she have done for my birthday do for me. I know it is my fault, when university time honestly I cannot afford to buy anything even for the cake for her and I am always feel guilty because the present I bought for her very cheap only. That the only thing I can do for her.


Working life, still not as easy as people always imagine. With the low paycheck every month and just enough for myself I still could end make my self to do as what have she done to my birthday. I just can afford to bought her cheaper gift only and some more at one time I make big mistake with wish her birthdays earlier one day and it become huge issue for her.


It just so sad to me because deep inside I know she not appreciated what I give to her. I am still stuck with my financial and my budget very low to her, I just can buy her a piece of cake, and bangles but it seem like useless to her. Now, when she 25th I bought hand made card and cost me 50 buck because I order from Australia and seem like she never appreciated and I just get forwarded message say thank you.


I keep mention her name because I believe she is the one very close to me and understand me as friends but I guess I don’t have a good luck in making friends. There is no one can understand me and I believe god know me much better than them.


Honestly, I am glad and appreciated who ever still remember me. The only things I can say from now I will appreciated people around me and never care either they are good to me or not. God give me one live only and must take this chance and make people around me happy and accept who I am and I will give my best to accept whom they are.

Shopping!

Last weekend went for shopping and more too like Summer shopping. I can say like madness shopping. Three of us Hir and Z keep on walking and stop every single of shop just for browsing and if we like we will bought. Z finally found her dream watch at Fossil after more than hour DIY her watch and finally bought it. Almost RM 400 she spent for her watch.

For me, i can say i bought a lot of stuff. I bought pair of shoes at Nichii (very cheap!) , pants at SODA, dress at South China East and Hat from Forever 21..;)

and new bag for travelling at FOS.

my new shoes (after less RM25.00 only!)

After spent almost a day at Gurney,we went arcade game,and honestly i'm bad and suck player there ..poor me..:( right!..

Persian?Indian Style Modern?

This is the latest  design that I draw  for this few month. I'm not sure either it can be Indian Classic design or Persian design.it kind modern type.But, I like the color when green and red combine together. So, fantastic...;) right  ?

Now,quite busy with work and at the same time thinking to continue my master by this years.To much thing need to do...Sighhh..

Oh God, please help me.I'm not sure what can i decide now. Work or study?

If  I'm continue my study there is a lot thing I need to sacrifice such as my  permanent job, my car my house and allowance to my mom. All i need to consider again. And, of cause for my shopping every month. 

For work, honestly i love my work so much as designer but I'm not 100% love to work at my current company.Is not I didn't tried to look other company but it become trauma for me.

just now, i need to focus to my study and some more now i'm doing part time too without anyone know. I hope it can be secret forever.

  

staying alone.

I know some people don't understand why I’m preferred to staying alone rather than staying with friends. I have an experienced staying with person that I know and strangers. It kind difficult for me honestly. It is not easy. Maybe, expenses are less and u can save more.

When, I started work in Penang I’m staying at this one low cost flat. Kind tough for me with strangers, and I’m cried when I arrived because the place very terrible and plus with the people is so suck that time.

After, moved out and stay with my friend that I know since U. We share a lot of thing but for friendship it kind hard for me. I’m the person very hard to show my feeling and when come something that I feel I don't like I just keep quite but not like her. She just throws everything that she doesn’t like about me like thrash. Of cause, I’m feeling bad. But, for me I believe every one have a bad and good thing and it depend how their going to control and accept.

But, I realized I can't face it anymore. Too close make my heart sick with every word she said to me. Like I never do good thing to her. She can say anything bad about me. And for me, just let it be secret and I will stand it until the end of my day.

Honestly, I’m so sad and disappointed when the entire wrong thing she pointed her finger to me without think about my feeling.

So, the best way is I’m preferred to staying alone and just have a little friend around me. I’m appreciated when they are around me. But, too close is no for me anymore. I’m tired to think and keep their feeling. Tired when they not appreciated what you have done for them. Enough said.

I own my thought

Been while didn't update this blog.

Just last weekend I went to bookstore with Miss SP, at least once per year Popular will head big promo for any kind of book. So, I grab two book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and "crossword" just for improve my vocabulary in English word.

"The Secret", this book introduced by my friend and she said I should read this because I’m always have negative think and be a second one for myself. I'm still not finish read it but the book already influenced me to do change my lifestyle with set my mind with positive think.

"I own my thought"

Now, I’m happy to staying alone. I no need to think for other person feeling and I can decide what I want to do at home because I own them. Weekday, time for my friends such as dinner, shopping or jogging. But for me, at least for Sunday is only my time for do house work and take a rest and actually it is good because I can save petrol and save the earth too.

P/s:  http://thesecret.tv/teachers.html

Update

Its been long time didn't update my blog,missed.

Now, i try to keep quite since i don't want people judging me the way i give my opinion or what i'm thinking.So, i think is good for me and less complaining.

After long break and start work,it been busy all the day long. And now,more often went to site visit.My skin already burn because Penang so damn hot.So hot until i didn't use water heater for get shower anymore.Even, my fan already max but still feel hot and sweat.

And, now i'm feel so scared because to many disaster happen in the world.The lastest, Earthquake at Chile.I know, our earth almost 10,000 years.and every 10,000 our earth will be shifted and reconstruct again.But. i'm not sure i'm ready to face it or no.