Birthday and Friends

My birthday is already past 1 month ago. This year I am 25th already and some people said is half of 50th of year.



I still remember the first gift that I received I guess is from my dad, just a pencil case that he bought for my sister and me. Moreover, I get gold color and she got the silver color. I am so young that time and cannot remember how I am appreciated that gift.


When I am kindergarten, my mother make a cake called “kek batik” and I am not sure either for my birthday or just for some activities. However, I remember my teacher so glad that time and asked for the recipes from my mother. When I am primary school and which standard that I’m , I can’t remember at all, but my mother make a packet of candy and ask me to give to my friends during my birthday.


After that, when I am at Form 3 I get present from my friend like Nazifah, Miera and Yana. Forgive me if I did not mention any name here but I really appreciated.


University time, I get first surprises from my friends called Fenn and Hana. They came at my studio at middle of the night just for celebrate my birthday and by the next year is same; they always make surprises to me.


I know, Fenn always make surprises to me for my birthday and she never ever forget my birthday. Moreover, deep inside I am always feel guilty to her because I never do the same thing like she have done for my birthday do for me. I know it is my fault, when university time honestly I cannot afford to buy anything even for the cake for her and I am always feel guilty because the present I bought for her very cheap only. That the only thing I can do for her.


Working life, still not as easy as people always imagine. With the low paycheck every month and just enough for myself I still could end make my self to do as what have she done to my birthday. I just can afford to bought her cheaper gift only and some more at one time I make big mistake with wish her birthdays earlier one day and it become huge issue for her.


It just so sad to me because deep inside I know she not appreciated what I give to her. I am still stuck with my financial and my budget very low to her, I just can buy her a piece of cake, and bangles but it seem like useless to her. Now, when she 25th I bought hand made card and cost me 50 buck because I order from Australia and seem like she never appreciated and I just get forwarded message say thank you.


I keep mention her name because I believe she is the one very close to me and understand me as friends but I guess I don’t have a good luck in making friends. There is no one can understand me and I believe god know me much better than them.


Honestly, I am glad and appreciated who ever still remember me. The only things I can say from now I will appreciated people around me and never care either they are good to me or not. God give me one live only and must take this chance and make people around me happy and accept who I am and I will give my best to accept whom they are.